See the new meter for my novel progress on the right? I love it - makes such a large task seem manageable. Click on it to get one for yourself, if you'd like.

Rules of Writing

I found this on Gather; apparently it is one of those things passed around over email:

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

The Beau and I

I need to invest in a voice recorder for my writing projects (especially interviews!).

Does anyone know anything about them, or have any tips?

My Writing History

I interviewed two guys tonight for Nu Magazine, and they asked me how long I had been a writer. I told them about two years and they seemed surprised that it was such a short time. After the interview, I thought about their question more. I had answered off hand since I wasn't anticipating the question, but now that I think about it, I have only been writing professionally for two years. I have a history that goes beyond that; I just didn't really consider it until afterwards.

I have been writing poems since I was in my early teens. That was so long ago that I had almost forgotten - not that I wrote them, but how often. I was really prolific. I didn't do it because I thought I was some great writer, though... I did it for expression.

When I was fifteen I wrote a short story and entered it into a contest that a publishing company was having. It won 'Honorable Mention' and was posted on their website, which was a big deal back then when websites were new. (A big deal for me, I mean.)

At eighteen and nineteen I was still writing poetry for myself, but I became an editor for my college's women's magazine and published several there. After having to write personal statements and essays to keep those scholarship checks coming, I realized that writing was actually kind of wonderful and that I loved doing it.

The rest is history. I don't really remember for certain when I started seeking out gigs and submitting my work but it is an addiction now, a lifestyle. A hard one, no doubt, but a worthwhile one.

I came across this blog entry at what's new, pussycat? entitled "how to be a great writer," and have to share this quote:

It was Literary Legends Week on the History Channel, so I’ve just about had a gutful of the greats all wrapped up in neat little digestable packages. Too much about their tawdry lives, not enough about the writing. A couple of highlights. Hemingway: wars, hunts, fishes, grows beard, dies. Fitzgerald: drinks, drinks, jazz, crazy wife, drinks, drinks, dies.

What did I learn about writing from this extravaganza? Milk your experiences for all they’re worth. Don’t despair over that pesky world war, your evil tart of a wife, that cancer rotting in your lungs, your penchant for cross dressing, those annoying debt collectors with the big guns, whatever, it’s all choice material. It doesn’t matter that your family hate you for so blatantly plundering their lives for your novels, because you’re bound to die young, and years later when your family has carked it too, the world will realise how brilliant and original you were.

Mark Twain

An excellent quote from a literary master:

"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."

I know this is a writing blog, but I am sure that most of you writers out there are readers as well. In case you are, I want to share a little gold mine that has served me well so far:

The New Yorker Advance Word

I signed up for these e-mails and every month or so they send me information on a brand new title that is just coming out. They offer about 400 of them free to the first batch of readers who reply to the email and say they want it. I have gotten two brand new novels for free through this program.

Austin Heart Walk

In case anyone is interested, I will be participating in the Austin Heart Walk next month. All sponsorship donations will benefit the American Heart Association and help them continue their fight against heart disease and stroke, the leading causes of death in the United States.

I will also write an article about the event afterwards, and will publicly thank everyone who helped to sponsor me.

If you are interested in giving to a good cause, be it $1 or $20, I would very much appreciate your help.

April's Sponsorship Page

Austin Heart Walk

American Heart Association (AHA)

This is why I love E.L. Doctorow:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader—not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon."

Too cute!

*From CoxandForkum.com.

Some happy things

• A new Estella's Revenge is out. That's always a happy thing for readers. Even if I didn't write for it, I'd still love it.
• WHY Magazine has published an article I wrote for them entitled "Open Door Policy." (They've got a nice flash site so I can't direct link; you've gotta go to the issue and find it!)
• I have written an article for a Swiss magazine and gotten a deal to write more. April Boland hits Europe! ;)
• I have been offered my own column at GENEROUS, the 'zine from Crazations.com. It doesn't pay, but it's my own! And they give me advertising space, which I will use for ... that's right, you guessed it, Della Donna.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend and is writing hard.